Like fish, but don’t want to eat fish?

Maybe you’ve tried bland fake fish from the shops and been sorely disappointed (I have)?

We’ve got you covered.

With full credit to Dave Stamp for the fine details of this recipe… Please share in the joy of this delicious seafood sandwich spread/spud strengthener…


You can make this just using a fork, but a blender makes it easier.


1 can chickpeas, drained, and mashed if not using a blender
2.5 sheets sushi nori (you can get this in Asian shops, some supermarkets, or online if you’re stuck), flaked/cut up very small with scissors if not using a blender
1/2 can sweetcorn, drained
1/4 small jar capers, chopped up a bit if not using a blender
Dash of vinegar
Dash of lemon juice
Mayo (egg or plant based, your choice), around 1 tablespoon maximum

Combine everything except the sweetcorn and mayo, very, very thoroughly. Then add the sweetcorn and finally the mayo. You need less mayo than you think.

Makes 3-4 servings

Nom nom nom nom!